If you are hurting after another breakup and unable to move on.
Feeling tired of crying constantly.
Unable to focus at work.
Can’t sleep well or eat because you lost your appetite.
Lost interest in the activities that bring you joy like spending time with friends.
And spending your free time on the couch without motivation to do anything else.
Afraid that you will never find someone who loves you again.
The truth that nobody likes to acknowledge is that breakups can be devastating.
On one hand you lose your loved one, the man you thought was your person.
And you also lose the dreams and hopes for the future.
So now you feel your heart shattered in a million pieces.
I know that well because I’ve been there myself many times in the past.
One truth is...
Most people are trying to avoid the pain so much that they never stop feeling it.
The reason for that is because feeling the feelings (pain, grief, anger, fear, shame, guilt) is uncomfortable.
And we don’t like to feel uncomfortable.
According to the 90-second rule in neuroscience…
There’s a chemical response to an emotion in our body that lasts 90-seconds.
That’s why you see a kid in the playground fall, scrape their knee, cry and 5 minutes later they are laughing and playing again.
In my experience working with women going through a breakup,
in addition to the pain, they are also stuck in fear.
The fear of the clock ticking, not getting married, not having kids, retiring alone.
For most people, sometimes the way to get through the feelings is to feel them
Feeling their emotions to find relief is what I prescribe to them every time.
I have a 5 step process to heal from a breakup, and I am going to give you the first step:
Feel the feelings…
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings every day for at least 15 minutes.
Find a quiet and private space and sit or lay down comfortably with pillows and a blanket.
Put your hand in your heart and tell yourself “I am safe to feel, it’s okay to feel”
Take deep breaths inhaling through the nose and exhaling out through your mouth.
Allow the feelings to move through your body.
If you feel sadness, allow the tears to come out until you run out of tears.
If you’re feeling anger, scream into a pillow and let the energy out.
Or do some jumping jacks, go for a run or a brisk walk, clean the house vigorously.
When you are done processing your feelings, you’ll be able to look back and see that…
Heartbreak is like a storm, but the sun will shine again
Heartbreak is the risk we take for falling in love,
it’s the price we pay for opening our hearts to love.
I have not met a single person yet who’d rather live and die with a heart intact.
So the answer isn’t not to love, but to learn how to heal our hearts and move on so we are free to love.
Your love guide,
~ Ana